Helly Faith

2012-02-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

I got quiet and kept to myself becuz at e end of e day I dunno what u were thinking. And I really fuckin wish I knew.

2012-01-08T17:15:00.000+08:00

Skyride goin down..

2012-01-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

Siglap sec 1s orientation non stay in camp..

2012-01-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

Part of my pink obsession..

2011-12-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

Love e sunset. Don't u?

2011-12-08T11:47:00.000+08:00

Reason why I was up all night.!

2011-12-08T11:46:00.000+08:00

After 4 hrs of sleep. I went to blgps. Remembering the steps that traces back to the school. Walking in and seeing fellow colleague Mary. Smiling to myself and ready for the morning postpone meeting. All shagged and tired a part of me wanted to not go. With seriously terribly cramps goin on. I wanted to juz skip it. But the meeting turn out to b the best morning of my life.

Knowing hw I've managed to touched the students life in depth made me realized life is not as hard as it may seem. Somebody is still gonn b Dere for us at the end of e day. So whr do we all stand in someone's life?

FAS TRACK 2011 was a great success. Pilot programme moving forward. More students in our life. More ppl for us to know. I won't b young soon. I'm gonn b screaming at the top of my lungs asking for help sooner or later. But den again.

Been there done that.

What's there to worry? :)

Walk w me?

2011-12-08T03:53:00.000+08:00

:) Rudy n I

2011-12-08T03:52:00.000+08:00

2011-12-08T03:51:00.000+08:00

I love ele.

Sg flyer :)

2011-12-08T03:50:00.000+08:00

Segway was fun!

2011-12-08T03:49:00.001+08:00

Naf n I :)

2011-12-08T03:49:00.000+08:00

My I love u friend

2011-12-08T03:48:00.000+08:00

2011-11-24T00:06:00.001+08:00

2011-11-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

2011-11-24T00:05:00.000+08:00

Chewbacca @ work

2011-11-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

Luge :)) skyride

Naf makes work fun! :)

2011-11-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

2011-11-24T00:01:00.001+08:00

Where to buy u ah?!

2011-11-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

I like how u make my knees go weak ;)

Thru this reflection.. I wonder how have u been...

2011-11-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

2011-11-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

2011-11-23T19:49:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder how izzit gonna be like if we are still friends.

I love u pig

2011-11-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

Yummy for my tummy!

2011-11-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

FASTRACK CLASS OF 2011 : BLGPS

2011-11-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

2011-11-12T20:23:00.001+08:00

2011-11-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

I survived thru 11/11/11 11:11:11am :))

2011-11-12T20:22:00.000+08:00

And after 10yrs. We can still tell others that we r sisters. WUAHAHAAAA

2011-11-12T20:21:00.000+08:00

CCBC meet up was wonderful

2011-11-05T12:55:00.001+08:00

i wrote a really long post earlier.
it went missing.
fml.

2011-11-05T12:48:00.000+08:00

Remind me of u n Linus.

2011-11-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday lucky! U r 3 nw!

2011-11-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

I misses times like this with you T... Hmmmm

2011-10-30T20:27:00.000+08:00

I finally feel that I can be crazy and cranky and my normal self when I'm with you. :))

2011-10-29T16:23:00.000+08:00

I haven been this happy for a long long time. Thkyu T :)

2011-10-10T23:14:00.000+08:00

One after another. I feel like an idiot.

2011-10-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

Thkyu for being there when I'm insecure and lemme noe u'll always love me..

I remember telling you that I'm afraid of heights.

2011-09-27T00:51:00.000+08:00

We got 3rd but we r proud of it!

2011-09-26T12:14:00.000+08:00

2011-09-26T12:13:00.001+08:00

2011-09-26T12:13:00.000+08:00

Singapore dodgers

2011-09-26T12:12:00.000+08:00

Dodgefathers and daughter ;)

2011-09-26T12:11:00.001+08:00

2011-09-26T12:11:00.000+08:00

My hair length previously.

2011-09-26T12:10:00.000+08:00

Grumpy in this new haircut..

2011-09-26T12:09:00.000+08:00

New haircut :))

2011-09-23T09:48:00.000+08:00

2011-09-23T01:28:00.000+08:00

2011-09-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

I want to give u the best of me because u don't deserve any less :)

2011-09-22T15:30:00.003+08:00

all i did was press on oneeeee wronggggg button.. and thats it. all my 7yrs of blogskin effort went down e drain. GGfied. :(

2011-09-13T22:39:00.000+08:00

im so shagged.
so worn out.
and ive been thinkin of you.
today marks one month of how we first gotta know each other.
im smiling ear to ear.

im just thankful to have you around.
and im glad that we share the same sentiments.

i cant be together with someone by status.
its too much of a crap to bear.

thank you for being you.

2011-09-12T03:19:00.000+08:00

I think I'm falling in love w u...

And that's nt something I wanna do.

2011-08-31T15:21:00.001+08:00

Its unfair to judge someone based on bad experiences yea?

Does it matter?

Is it fair?

I dun really care. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-08-26T17:45:00.001+08:00

another thing..

i cant get you outta my head.

i hope its something good.

2011-08-26T17:38:00.003+08:00

sitting in e office at this time..
feels alot different as being compared to those times when i was a FULL Timer..
hmmm...

the tension is no longer dere.
and i feel really happy just sitting around here hanging with e rest.

;)

catching up with helmy and laughing at the top of our voices made my work alot more interesting..

if only everyday is like this. ;)

i thank god for pple like this in my life. :) <3

2011-08-14T16:25:00.000+08:00

I'm diggin e fact u are so affected by me. :))

2011-08-09T05:27:00.000+08:00

She doesn't deserve you.

How could u be so rude?!

2011-08-05T06:18:00.000+08:00

2011-08-04T04:34:00.002+08:00

i miss you.
i cant sleep.
and ive been thinking of u.

im trying to pretend its ok.

its not.
at 437am. im struggling with myself.

why did it turn out like this?
these tears come tonight.
am i ok i asked myself..

those bells rang that day..
i asked myself if that meant smth to u.. i looked at the clock..
frm 10am.. slowing ticking towards noon..
waiting for e bell to ring..
wonderin if you're thinking of me that moment.

u said it did when we spoke on the phone on 1st july.

what happened to us?
werent we a good looking couple together?
why did u have to break things up.
it wasnt wht u do best.

ohh.. this is hard.
u hv no idea how much it eats me alive.
i miss u.
i really do.
i miss us.

i said it to u before.
i still do.

maybe im being really emotional tonight.
but u hv no idea hw much ive been tryna move on.

2months passed. and i cant get over u.
still.i hate you.
i cant forgive u.
i cant let u be.
i saw a pic of us ytd in one of my cupboard.
i broke down in tears n cried so hard.

i cant bear to destroy them.
no matter hw hard i want to.
i just wanna be happy.

i fuckin miss u.

2011-08-03T12:30:00.000+08:00

It's been exactly 2months. And I received a msg frm a forgotten friend asking if I'm ok...

Am I ok?

2011-08-01T23:16:00.001+08:00

Enough of habouring hopes of any.
I'm still as stupid as before..

There are times I just wish life is easy as it may seem.

I'm obviously wrong.

Round 2 goes down the drain.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-07-19T01:44:00.002+08:00

i just wanna be able to sleep!
fuck you.
i fuckin hate you.

you r stil on my mind!

i cried on e mrt today during rush hr..
and ive been trying really hard..
i still dun fucking understand why i feel like this.. like crap..
why on earth did u treat me like this..

i blame for u everything.

u fucking broke my heart! i hate u! i hate u! i hate u!!!!!!!!

no matter what the fuck happened... i was there!

still i was treated like crap!

DIDNT I DO EVERYTHING U WANTED ME TO?!
WHY I DESERVE THIS THEN?!

i just wanna go to sleep without crying!!!!!!

i hate you.
why....

i loved you so much..
why did u do this to me?
i juz wanted a future.
one that we could hv build tgt.
and yet u only offered me empty promises.

i dun even noe what e fuck im doing nw.
one moment im crying my fuckin eyes out.
one moment im being all strong..

i dun wanna be caught in this situation.

i hate you bernard.
why did u do this to me...

2011-07-18T18:01:00.002+08:00

regrets a mistake that memory makes.

its all bitter sweet in my heart.

these tears keep coming still.

what on earth did i do wrong?

im tryna move on.

and u are on my mind.

I HATE U!
WHY?!
WHY MUST U DO THIS TO ME?!
WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS?!

HOW HARD ON EARTH MUST I TRY?!

2011-07-18T12:00:00.000+08:00

It was so nice, u came back to me.. But it was only just a dream...

2011-07-16T22:54:00.001+08:00

I've thought long and hard about it.
You win. Im out. I'm moving on.

I've tried many ways. I'm just cramped in a lil space. Now that I realized the door was always open, I'm just stupid to not hv walk out sooner.

Tears stream as I talk and think about it.

But I can no longer do this. U hv my blessings.

2011-07-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

I'm in so much pain. It's hurting me and it's eating me inside out

2011-07-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

Today was a good day :) I went to get my standard first aid course. And I did well! I scored full marks!!! WOOTS! Hehee :)

2011-07-03T15:57:00.002+08:00

you always said to me.. " im not that kinda assholes out there!"

well.. lemme tell you something, you obviously dont know yourself very well..

cause you're exactly what you said you wont turn out to become...

good luck with that one.

2011-07-03T15:10:00.000+08:00

Exactly one month after we broke up, I hear news that you guys are official now. That not only does she call u baby.. But she has to call u BERNY. Haa. And who gave u that name?

2011-07-03T03:38:00.000+08:00

Lying on the bed now. Been trying to sleep for the past 2hrs. I'm seriously breaking down! And I just wanna be able to sleep soundly. Yet I've to go through all these thoughts in my head.

Even after a good day,I end up in tears while walking pass places. So fucking pissed off at myself. I kept shaking my head subconsciously.. Friends tellin me nt to be so anti social and start talking. But those tears couldn't hold it and just kept pouring out..

I walk away each time it happens. and I just wanna scream at myself for being so stupid. Stupid to let it happen. Stupid for whatever reasons there maybe.

I fucking hate any kind of music that I've listened the past few recent yrs. Cuz they always have u in em one way or another.

Fuck! So bloody irritated!!! Damn it! I cannot even be who I am?! Let alone always allowing others to do what they want.

Lifesabitch and then you die,
If you don't care then why should I??

2011-07-02T13:46:00.000+08:00

Did she give u things I didn't give to you?

It was just a while ago that we have the times of our lives..

2011-07-02T12:33:00.000+08:00

I wonder.
Is that what you really want?
What happen to our glory days?

I hope u see my face.. And You'll be reminded that it isn't over yet.

I wish nothing but the best for you. But I hate you too much now. Not after what you did to me.

Can't believe I'm crying on the bus.

2011-07-01T13:07:00.002+08:00

1st july.
the bell rang.
"it reminds me of someone"

that pierced my heart when u said it.
you couldnt even say my name.

you said you went to facebook everyday still to see my page.
you read my blog,
u wanna noe hws my life.

but im torn u didnt ask me personally.

and now.. there's someone else.
*sigh

2011-06-28T01:27:00.002+08:00

after 25 days.. i changed my facebook status to single.
my heart aches so bad..
he obviously let it go.
its time i changed my wall paper too.
im only left with memories nw.

6years and 5months and 3 days.

i still remembered he once said,

"why are you counting how long we will be together? When we are gonna last forever.."

i guess there's a reason to it nw.
*sigh.

2011-06-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

Tonight u broke my heart. U don't want me and this anymore. While I'm overseas. I fuckin miss u. And yet there's nth I can do. I love u bee. I love u with my all.
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2011-05-26T04:06:00.000+08:00

I'm crying to sleep. I can't even sleep @ 306am bintan time. And I hv to be awake @ 530am.

This sucks.
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2011-05-20T03:27:00.002+08:00

I did not change.
I never did.
I'm busy with work.
And you noe it.

Where are e changes u mentioned?
U changed more den I did. And I still love u as much.
My feelings for u didn't change. But what about ur feelings for me?

I love u with everything that I have. And yet there is nth I can do about it.

I'm having suicidal thoughts becuz I can't take it. Pls gimme the strength goddddd. I can't take it anymore.

2011-05-19T18:49:00.002+08:00

first it was housing.
secondly there was my family.
den came work and hectic schedules.
now come this.
what more do i have to fuckin struggle with?
these tears keep flowing and im in agony.
but u can make them go away with your smile.
yet i dun get to see u
i understand ur situtation.
but what more do i need to keep this?

im in so much pain.
im in so much pain.
im in so much pain.
these tears keep flowing.
these tears flow endlessly.
i choke when i talk to u.
i stammer when i wanna say something.
i hold my breath thinkin of u.
i wish i could pass out.
i wish i can turn back the time.
i want you.
i want you bad.

these tears keep flowing.
broken trust?
i dun think so
empty promises?
not that i remember.

i just wanna be with you and tell you im happy.
i know where u are coming from.
i miss u.
i miss u.
i hide in my room after work.
i cry to sleep thinking about it.
i dream of u at night and that made my day.

my arms yearns to be around u.
my eyes cant wait to look at u.
my ears cant wait to hear your voice.
and i juz cant bear to lose you.
not now.
not ever.

2011-05-19T18:44:00.001+08:00

do u still care?
do u still want to now wht im doing daily?
i fuckin miss u..
and i dun dare to even tell u.
cuz u will shhhs me away.
and all i can do is just sit by and hope that eveything is gonn be okay.
am i a fool for following wht i want?

why must this decision be made by you when all i wanna noe is wht i becoming of us?
isnt this whole thing suppose to be 2 parties involvement?

Nelly - Just A Dream

2011-05-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

miss you.
miss you.
miss you.

:'(

2011-05-10T21:21:00.002+08:00

im so fuckin pissed off.

what has my personal life gotta do with you?

i dont see me asking anything about YOU.

and WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO WARN ME?!

i still remember.

2011-05-01T01:51:00.004+08:00

i still remember the day you and i sat together on bus 167.
i was sitting next to you right at the back. and i was so tired.
i hug your hand to sleep.
we werent even together yet.
i was 16. you were 17. we were just friends.

i still remember the morning before you and i got toegther
ktm for breakfast.
morning movie @ great world city.
took the cable car into sentosa together for the first time.
it was raining. and i started falling for u even deeper.

i still remember the night you and i got together in sentosa. 010105
you were standing behind me. hugging me from the back.
we were standing in front of the stage during new year eve..
giving our 1mintue of silence to the people who died in tsunami.
i was so happy to be in your arms.
i didnt dare move cause i was afraid u will stop hugging me.
we got together after the clock strikes 12mn.
it was the beginning of us.

i still remember our first valentines day together.
it was a busy afternoon for me.
i rushed to ikea to prepare all the stuffs.
u reached the surprised spot from me to you @ 7pm.
lighted candles on the mat.
a belt and shades from me to you.
a diamond necklace from you to me.
i smiled to myself.
pleased to be love by you.

i still remember the first day you surprised me ever.
i was wearing my your favourite top.
you came to billabong and smiled.
i was mad at you for lying to me.
but i smiled silly to myself for loving you.

2011-02-22T02:58:00.002+08:00

ive to wake up @ 6am.
for a pt time job.
but i cant get to sleep yet.
im thinking of u.
my bed smells of u.
i miss u.

u hv been bz and i understand.
im juz wondering when will i get to see u again.

i fuckin miss u.

2011-02-17T01:16:00.001+08:00

I got fired.
N is depressin.
I fainted e night I lost my job.
My life is screw up nw. N I'm fuckin sad n I'm losing it.

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1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 years and i still love you as much!

2011-01-01T12:12:00.001+08:00

2011-01-01T06:43:00.003+08:00

First post for 2011.. I'm on bus 147 nw otw bk to my tanglin halt hm. Fuckin shagged frm tonight. Counting down @ mbs w my colleagues n enjoying the beautiful fireworks was awesome. I wished he was dere with me..

My 6th year anniversary without bernard was meaningless. But I didn't wanna do a quiet countdown anymore. My life is pretty quiet on its own. I'm e noisy one. Nt my life.

I wonder hw much of 2011 is gonna fulfill me this time.

My bus juz passed by ber hse. His rm lights are off. Its 6.35am nw. He muz be soundly asleep. Tmr we have got high tea @ carousel. Smth we wanna do for a long time.

Nw I can't wait to go hm. N juz fuckin sleep.

I miss u.. I hope u noe hw I feel. But I highly doubt so. Nvm. Things r gonna be diff for us this 2011. For e better.

Year 2010 was a lousy year. E happening part of this year was prolly being @ wheelock with great colleagues. Thank god for u guys. I swear without u I will be no whr happy.

Ohh.. I witness an accident. I quickly got down frm my cab n went to helped him. Shawn frm UK. Angmoh drunkard. Old dude. And gave e police my report. It was scary.
Found a phone. im gonna return it. waitin for e owner to call back.

Hm club with atix skanthan melody nikki n zul. Was funny. Good. And breakfast @ sham alah was good.

And here I am nw. Tryna break a leg goin hm. I hope my mom is gonna wake up for me. Or I'm screwed.

Loving 2011 bit by bit.

Xx hellyf.
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2010-12-24T07:19:00.001+08:00

I've been lying in bed for e past 1hr odd. Writing xmas cards n a morning call to wann.. The morning sun is up.. Tonight we celebrate xmas tgt w my fellow colleagues @ nus alumni campus. I wonder hws e crazy night gonn follow..

Tonight.. We gonn fly like a G6.
Ghetto drinking @ any corner.
Fried rice paradise @ ur house downstairs.

I hope its a night to remember..

I miss bernard.. This time 6years ago.. We were dating.. :) remembering every details in my head. N til this day.. When I get to share e story w any friends, I unknowingly smile to myself..

I love you bernard.
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2010-12-22T01:49:00.002+08:00

im lying in bed,
and i dunno wtf is goin thru my head.
i feel so heartbroken somehw.
like hw things are not falling into places at all.
these tears juz kept rolling down my cheeks.
and i dont even noe whr went wrong.
or maybe i dunno hw it went wrong.
one way or another its hurtin me.
and theres no one i can talk to about all these.
or so it seems.

xmas is suppose to my favourite time of e year.
but this yr, its taking a toll on me.
whats worst is..

i dunno the exact reasons why.

i hate this.

fly like a G6

2010-12-22T01:33:00.003+08:00

is nights like this that im gonna miss...

high n tipsy thinking we are A O.K... clearly we're not.

thinking that faces like these will earn u biggg bucksss... clearly not.

wondering whr these feet of ours will bring us someday... (proudly brought to you by vans. :) )
being girlfriends for a night.

im juz wondering when all this will ever happen again.
im assuming? never.

My bro @ work. I miss u!

2010-12-22T01:31:00.002+08:00

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2010-12-20T00:49:00.002+08:00

i went to route66 earlier.
to collect my mails.

tracing those pathways, i felt a hint of heartache.
i miss those moments.

i want nothing but those times when u're around.

ifuckinmissu.

its sad to be true, fooled by you.

2010-12-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

I wanna noe wht its like.. On e inside.. Of love..
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2010-12-15T15:40:00.001+08:00

I miss u so much, whenever I see u. I just wanna run up to u and hug u so tight cuz that I noe is the greatest feeling in the world.
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On e bus home..

2010-12-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

I love lonely bus rides. I think a lot. Specially night rides. Be it an emotional one or a sad one. The music sets e mood. I miss u. I miss times we had tgt. Fun n sad teary ones that leaves me with swollen eyes in e morning. My friends. U have been nth but my pillar of support..

Andy Alfian.. Today u went to army n I didn't even getta see u before u go. But I love u boy n I wish u all e best in this 2yrs. Still. I didn't get to see ur monk head.

Leisher lee.. My fav friend n scandalous guy I always have a thing for.. Haa. Whr e fuck have u been? U are always dere for my darkest moment. But I hate hw e army takes u away. I will nv forget the night u pick pepper n me up frm my hse @ braddell hts den. And foot e bill of $500 odd. Whr e fuck to find a fren like u? Blk 24 #13-** telok blangah cresent. :) thku so much for always being tt friend dere..

Benedict tan yu sheng.. U were e friend who never left my side n constantly msg me if I'm ok and check in w me everytime smth goes wrong. Ur actions touched my heart deeply even when u r so far. I wish u n ur babe all e best.

Jianwen aka BFF. U R THE BEST :) never judge me for whtever I do n always dere to quarrel w me. :) ur honesty makes me feel good n terrible abt myself all at e same time.. I hate u n love u all at e same time. For tht I'm sure our friendship is gonn fuckin last :)

Theresa tan shu xian.. My babe, my x colleague, my dog's brother owner, my x landlord, my girlfriend, my i-will-do-everything-for. I love u. I miss u. I will never wanna lose u. :)

Wan.. My colleague who's the life of my work life. :) I fuckin miss u. Hate e fact that u r nt gonn be around as often. Playtime is diff without u around! :(

Ish.. My brother frm diff motha.. U cb nt ard oso. Who e fuck to say.. " Helly.. Pain.." To me anymore? Who to lemme teach chinese vulgarity to?

Theodore roan.. My slut. My bitch. My gayboy. My I-tell-you-whts-new. Becuz of u I took my first puff.. 26th nov 2010. 1026pm. I hope for nth but e best for u. U being in tears breaks my heart.

Deres a lot more. But I've gotta alight sn.
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Coffee with you is a mental experience. Thankyou for being such a great BFF :)

2010-12-14T22:36:00.001+08:00

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2010-12-13T13:42:00.001+08:00

Goin to work is v depressing nw.
Wan's hardly around.
And so is ish. :(

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Where are you?

2010-12-09T12:32:00.001+08:00

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2010-12-08T18:48:00.000+08:00

I dun even noe if u r working. I so have e fuckin urge to walk in and juz take a peek. But I noe u wudnt like it either. And there I am again, left hanging.

I juz wanna go bk to hw things were. I hope u feel e same.
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